Transcendent Conversations: Life, Death, and the Subconscious

Dorrissa Griffin: 00:00:00

Thank you again for listening to Confidence by the STARS.

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Now, back to the show.

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Welcome to the Confidence

by the STARS podcast.

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I'm your host, Dorrissa, astrologer,

and your horoscope hype woman.

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And I'm here today with Dr.

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Kathy Zhang.

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She is a certified integrative life coach

and hypnotist, as well as a hospice and

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palliative care doctor, and host of the

Purpose Filter podcast, the show that

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shares deathbed wisdom and actionable

shortcuts for more fulfilled life.

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Her mission is to share the

lessons of dying to help us

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focus on what's truly important.

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So we can create happier, healthier,

and more meaningful lives while

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we still have time to enjoy them.

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Welcome Kathy!

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Kathy Zhang: Hi Dorrissa, thank you

so much for having me on the show.

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I'm excited to be here.

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Dorrissa Griffin: Yes, I'm

thrilled to have you on Kathy.

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I love starting the show at letting

people know how we got connected and I'm

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kind of talking about that a little bit.

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So just to give the listeners a little

bit of insight, I had the pleasure

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of meeting Kathy on a LinkedIn

master class that I took a few weeks

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back and it was such a wealth of

information, and that was through Hala.

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And she was just such a masterful

teacher, helped us really understand

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the ins and outs of LinkedIn and.

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It was just, I, I, I'm still

combing through a lot of that

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information but that's how we

got a chance to get connected.

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And you were telling me a little

bit about what you do, and I would

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love for you to tell more insights.

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Kathy Zhang: Yeah, absolutely.

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And it's so great that we got

connected that way, and then it

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evolved into this opportunity.

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So I am a hospice and palliative care

doctor by training, which means that

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I take care of sick and dying people.

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And at some point, I realized that

they were sharing such great life

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lessons and wisdom with me and regrets.

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And I couldn't really do much to help them

kind of, in a sense, right those wrongs,

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or to help them feel like they didn't

have to have regrets at the end of life.

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And so, in a way, I decided to share

that through my podcast, I became

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a life coach, and then I became

a hypnotist to really help people

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have the tools to help themselves.

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And that's kind of where I am now.

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And it's been an amazing ride.

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And I love sharing this information,

this knowledge, this wisdom

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with as many people as possible.

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Dorrissa Griffin: Oh my gosh,

that is just so incredible.

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I think so much of what you

do is so integral in how

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we need to understand life.

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We, we understand life from a perspective

of things and status and like how we

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want to be perceived and reputation

and all those kinds of things.

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But when you look at it from the

perspective of someone who is close to

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the end of their journey here and they

have this wealth of knowledge and wisdom.

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But as they look back, they, they

don't have necessarily a way of just

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instantly passing that on with the

way that we do now with social media

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and everything to have you be that

liaison between them and us to pass

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those lessons on, it's just so powerful.

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Kathy Zhang: Yeah, and I love

that word you used, Dorrissa.

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Liaison is the perfect way that

I want to describe myself.

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It's, I'm a a conduit, in a sense, right?

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To be able to share that and to be able to

be at the bedsides of these people and to

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give that knowledge to other people when

they don't have as many exposures to it.

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Because if we're lucky, most

of us will have only a handful

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of experiences with death.

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And even that is awful

and it's enough, right?

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And yet people die

every day, every minute.

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And it's one of those things where it

seems so scary, but the more that we

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normalize it, the more that we realize

we can actually learn a ton from the end

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of life, from people who are dying, and

from near death experiences, or getting

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ill ourselves, or facing anything that

might make us think, oh, maybe the

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security that I thought I had wasn't

as Secure, as I initially realized.

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Dorrissa Griffin: Wow.

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Yes, that is absolutely true.

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I feel like so many people don't realize

how important these lessons are until

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they go through these types of experiences

or someone that they're close to does.

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So it's just incredible to have you as

a conduit, as a liaison, as someone who

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can help us get these these lessons and

really do a better job of living our lives

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while we still have them, as you say.

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You're also an author.

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I would love to know more

about your book as well.

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You have this amazing amount

of resources that you provide.

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So let's dive into some of those as well.

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Kathy Zhang: So I don't have

a book just yet, but It's on

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the vision board and it's it's

being put out into the universe.

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So I have written some research

articles for palliative care and

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I've also published an article here

and there about the end of life.

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I wrote one about my experiences during

COVID because I was in New York City

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at Bellevue Hospital, which is the

nation's oldest public hospital.

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So it was just, so

overwhelming at that point.

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And writing has always been a way for

me to process and release emotions.

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And I think everyone should have

some sort of outlet, whether it's

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writing or whether it's something

else, to express that for themselves.

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And it's like coming back home.

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I did it a lot when I was younger.

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Kind of forgot about it because, as you

said, life, kind of life's us sometimes.

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And then coming back to it really feels

in a way of coming home to myself.

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Dorrissa Griffin: Well, I'm just

putting positive vibes out there so

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you can get that book deal someday.

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Kathy Zhang: I love it.

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I love it.

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Bring the energy.

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I'm ready for it.

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Dorrissa Griffin: But yeah, I mean,

I feel like this These lessons

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would be amazing for a book.

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And when we originally connected we

had kind of had this joke about

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loving all the woo woo stuff.

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And that was something that I

think I thought was so funny,

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but yes, it's absolutely true.

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A lot of people don't necessarily give a

lot of credence to these types of things,

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but when they show up sometimes it's like,

oh, wow, if I had known this, before.

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I'd have been paying attention before

it would have helped out a lot.

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And that's why I really would love

to know about your personal journey

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with the woo woo stuff like astrology.

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What has been kind of like some of the

things that you've learned about it?

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How has it helped you in your life and

any lessons that you've gleaned from that?

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Kathy Zhang: It's such a good

question and because also when

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we're coming from more quote unquote

traditional career backgrounds,

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right, like medicine, law, etc.

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It seems really weird for us to

embrace something that doesn't seem

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to have as much evidence behind it

or by the book and there's research

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articles and there's textbooks, etc.

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And I will say that doing the work

in hospice and palliative care and

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being around people who are dying or

close to it really opened up that

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extra, that area for me because there

were so many things that happened

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that I just could not explain.

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Right?

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I would have patients who, I had

one patient who, she had pancreatic

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cancer, it was, the tumor was

eating through her skin, through her

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belly button, and she was pouring

out ascites, which is abdominal

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fluid, out through her belly button.

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A liter, two liters, like a two

liter bottle of soda, a day,

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and she was 70, 80 pounds max.

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And her daughter was on the other

side of the country and was not

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gonna fly in for another 4 or 5 days.

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And we were like, there's no

way this woman is gonna make it.

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And we told her, hey, you know, I

don't know, just hang on if you can.

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She was unconscious at this point.

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Hang on if you can, your

daughter's gonna be here Friday.

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And this woman made it.

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And her daughter came.

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Said her goodbyes, and that patient

passed a couple hours later.

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There are so many stories like that,

where people hold on for family

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members, or there's a family member

who's there all the time, 24/7, and

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the moment that they decide to step

out to get a snack, the patient passes.

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There, I, I just can't explain it.

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And I think there's always been

this kind of intrigue within me.

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And to be honest, it's really

helped me process a lot of things.

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It's helped me transcend where I am

in life now to be able to embrace the

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vision of me in the future so that I

can develop more and be better for the

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people around me and inspire others.

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So it has been just amazing.

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to put it lightly.

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Dorrissa Griffin: That's beautiful.

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I love that you mentioned

the word transcendence.

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I think that's a beautiful way to describe

the process in life, of life in general.

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And I think that moment where we

literally transition and transcend to

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the next stage of whatever life is,

which includes our death it's just really

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a powerful moment and to know some of

these examples of people who you've given

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care to that have these circumstances

that you just can't explain, but you can

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see the power of that human connection.

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You can see the power of even kind

of like that destiny that's pulling

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them, like that's really powerful.

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Kathy Zhang: Mm hmm.

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Yeah.

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And things that people are like, oh,

they go into the light or they see,

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people will literally say, oh, and they're

unconscious, they're not aware, they're

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dying, they're transitioning, and they'll

say things like, oh, I see grandpa, I

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see, and they'll say the name of someone

who's already passed over, and they'll

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kind of say like, oh, I'm going to join

them, or some people are so aware that

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they know their time is coming, that they

know that they're dying, and it's, One

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of these things where the more you see

it, the more you realize that there's so

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much more than what we experience in this

reality, this physical manifestation of

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our bodies in time and space, and just

things like astrology and other modalities

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have gone back centuries and eons, right?

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It's not something new.

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This is what people used back

in the day when they didn't have

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access to the internet and Google

and all these other things.

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And so it makes you think that if so

many different cultures across the

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world have some sort of wisdom with

ancestral stuff and divination,

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astrology, shamanism, that sort of

thing, then why should we not You know,

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in a sense, open up our brains and our

hearts to it and see what comes from it.

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Dorrissa Griffin: Yes, it's

important to have that open

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mindedness and to allow the wisdom.

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I mean, like you mentioned, these

folks didn't have a lot of the

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technologies and advancements in terms

of the way we communicate in such

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instantaneous manners that we do now.

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And a lot of that wisdom

was stored in oral history.

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It was stored in the stories that got

passed down, the art and the music that

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got passed down from generations of old

and just really people observing and

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having the time to really take a good

look at what's happening around them and

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to see connections and to see patterns.

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And then having the forethought to

somehow write that down or continue to

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pass those stories on from generations

to generations until somebody wrote

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it down and passed that wisdom on.

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It's like, you can't ignore that.

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You have to pay attention to it and

allow it to inform you and to guide you.

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And that's one of the reasons why I

really wanted to have you on because

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one of the things that, or two of the

things that I wanted to discuss were the

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topic of the 8th and the 12th houses.

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And I was like, Oh my gosh, Kathy would be

perfect to talk about these things because

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I want to help illuminate that for people.

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And on the episode that I did, the first

episode that I did of Confidence by the

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STARS, I really dug deep into helping

people to understand what the houses are.

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And essentially, the houses are synonymous

with the areas of life in astrology.

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And there are 12 houses as outlined

by the ancient astrology guides,

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experts or however you want to call

them, they originated this information

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from their observations and the eighth

house is particularly interesting to

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our conversation because it's the house

most closely associated with death,

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with transitioning, with the end of

life and the reason that that is, is

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because of the first house being kind

of like our origin, who we are, what

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gifts and talents we come into the

world with, the thing that makes us

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us, that thing that makes us unique.

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It is on the opposite side of the

circle of astrology and a little

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bit out of view of the first

house, they call it an aversion.

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It is where the sun sets, it's where

the sun begins to go down in astrology,

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and in the the first house beginning

at the place of the eastern horizon.

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And so that's how you're

able to denote that.

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And so when you look across from

that, that's where the sun sets.

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And so that's how we get some of these

significations um, with astrology.

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But when it comes to the eighth house,

it's considered to be where we go into

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the underworld, where we start to take

that journey to the unconscious, to the

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place where we're not as familiar with

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and some of those lessons, like,

Like what you mentioned, they

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don't get passed on, but if you

can get a little bit of that before

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somebody does, it's really powerful.

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And I'm going to read a little bit

from the Ancient Astrology in Theory

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and Practice by Demetra George a

little bit about the Eighth House

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to kind of give us some context.

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And I would love for you to go a little

bit deeper into kind of what you do

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as a result of that and how that can

help people understand why this is

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so powerful and why this information

could, could be useful to them.

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So the Eighth House is a portal to the

landscape of the Underworld in which

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all life forms die and they descend.

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It's closely associated with the

following occupations mortician,

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undertaker, coroners, hospice workers

as well as people who kind of deal

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with circumstances that some folks

will have a harder time with folks who

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have the gift of being a deaf doula.

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Like these are kind of where the

eighth house things kind of show up.

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And some of the things that the eighth

house touches on our inheritances that

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we get as a result of someone passing on.

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It deals with wills.

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It deals with assets that come

from outside of who we are like

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I mentioned, inheritance, things

that are bequeathed to you.

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Other types of things that

maybe people get buried with.

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So jewels and things that people

get buried with or passed on with.

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And also in more modern astrology, it

deals with the psychological subconscious

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and kind of like mental health and things

that people kind of have a hard time

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with getting a grasp, but the eighth

house is a really, really intense house.

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If you have any planets that's going

through the eighth house, like you

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really need to take some time and focus

on your mental health and well being.

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And I know as a hypnotist, as well

as someone who does palliative

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care in hospice work, those are all

things that, you know, apply to you.

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So I just kind of want to dive deeper

into, into those topics and like how

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you found your way into those spaces

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cause it's so interesting.

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Kathy Zhang: This is so good.

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And thank you so much for

reading that description.

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I was taking notes furiously

while you were reading.

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So two things that popped up for me.

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The first is which, when you

said inheritances, wills, assets,

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things buried that people are

buried with or passed on with.

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And Also, with the psychological

aspect, obviously those are physical

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things, jewelry maybe land or assets,

money, inheritances, but it also

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brought up something which for me is

I've been working through as well,

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which is the generational trauma

that people pass on or don't resolve

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through years and generations

of families and that sort of thing.

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There are so many patients and people

who, because of life and things get busy,

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etc., or they just wish at the end of

life that they had healed some of the

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relationships during their lifetime.

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Or they die with certain aspects that

weren't addressed when they were alive.

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Things like how they think about money

or relationships with other people.

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And so that kind of generational

trauma really makes me think about

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how we relate to each other and how we

connect with ourselves and each other,

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especially since I work with populations

who are undocumented immigrants.

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They may be homeless and that sort

of thing and that takes an even

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deeper level for the work that I do.

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And then the second thing

you mentioned, which was the

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subconscious and mental health.

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I had no idea that the eighth

house was related to that.

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And so thank you so much for bringing

that up because it makes so much sense

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that In a way, my journey has brought me

to the unconscious and the subconscious.

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So for people who are listening, if

you want to think about your mind, your

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nervous system as an iceberg, right, maybe

five, Maybe 7 percent of what you see

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above the surface is our conscious mind.

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That is us being aware,

talking, relating, etc.

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to each other.

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Everything underneath the surface, 95 97%,

those are the estimates, of our mind, our

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nervous system, our sub or unconscious.

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And so these are the patterns that

we wake up and we do, to look.

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unconsciously.

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You just grab your phone and you scroll

even though you don't want to, right?

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: 00:20:51

Or when we just get anxious or afraid

because something that is in our present

296

: 00:20:59

or potential future reminds us of a

past experience that maybe we haven't

297

: 00:21:05

dealt with or is it a past trauma that

is now coming up in our bodies and

298

: 00:21:10

we're not aware that it's happening.

299

: 00:21:14

And so what hypnosis does and what I work

on with clients is one, to be able to give

300

: 00:21:19

them the tools in the moment to address

whatever emotions they might be feeling.

301

: 00:21:24

So if they're amped up, if they're really

anxious to give them the tools to calm

302

: 00:21:29

themselves in the moment, and then what

we'd work on is then to help them rewire

303

: 00:21:36

their brains, rewire their kind of program

their nervous system and their bodies

304

: 00:21:42

so that the default isn't overwhelmed.

305

: 00:21:46

The default is not fear.

306

: 00:21:48

The default isn't self doubt, but the

default is, I don't know, whatever

307

: 00:21:52

you want, peace tranquility,

confidence, whatever it is.

308

: 00:21:58

And so by reprogramming the brain, then

we don't, Eventually, we don't have to

309

: 00:22:03

use those tools in the moment anymore

because we're not going to feel that.

310

: 00:22:08

And when people realize that a lot

of it is just, it's all just neural

311

: 00:22:13

programming, it's wiring in our brains,

then it doesn't feel like, oh, it's

312

: 00:22:18

something personally wrong with me.

313

: 00:22:21

I think so many people feel that, oh my

god, there's something wrong with me.

314

: 00:22:24

I've always been like this.

315

: 00:22:25

I'm just a lost cause.

316

: 00:22:27

Why bother?

317

: 00:22:28

And that's not true at all.

318

: 00:22:30

And that's what I love telling people

is that, look, you don't have to wait

319

: 00:22:35

until you get sick or someone you love

dies to be able to change your life.

320

: 00:22:40

It's not like, oh, you got into a

car accident and you automatically

321

: 00:22:44

downloaded the information necessary

to quit smoking, or to start that

322

: 00:22:49

business you've always wanted, right?

323

: 00:22:51

And so it doesn't have to be that way.

324

: 00:22:54

And I think that that's really

refreshing for people to know

325

: 00:22:58

that that possibility exists.

326

: 00:23:07

Dorrissa Griffin: Thank you for

listening to Confidence by the STARS.

327

: 00:23:10

If you like the show, Please leave a

review to help us spread the good vibes.

328

: 00:23:16

Oh, and if you haven't already,

follow the podcast by clicking

329

: 00:23:20

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330

: 00:23:23

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331

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of your feed so you don't miss a thing.

332

: 00:23:32

One last thing, listen

to the end of the show.

333

: 00:23:36

I have an amazing freebie for you.

334

: 00:23:39

Now, back to the show.

335

: 00:23:49

I was blown away about what you said

about only seven, roughly 7 percent is

336

: 00:23:55

the conscious part and the rest of that,

that 93 something percent is subconscious.

337

: 00:24:01

And we're not even cognizant

of what we're feeling, what we're

338

: 00:24:07

dealing with, how our nervous

system is responding to things.

339

: 00:24:09

That is really, really powerful.

340

: 00:24:15

And I think that, or for me, the topic

of hypnosis and the topic of kind of

341

: 00:24:22

exploring that part of, of who we don't

realize we are is really quite incredible.

342

: 00:24:29

And it's something that I personally,

I've had an experience with hypnosis

343

: 00:24:36

in the past and it was really powerful.

344

: 00:24:38

I was like in my teens and we were at

like a graduation party or something

345

: 00:24:45

that the school was putting on for us

and they had brought in a hypnotist

346

: 00:24:49

and we were doing all kinds of stuff.

347

: 00:24:52

I actually had been hypnotized and

I didn't realize I was looking like,

348

: 00:24:56

There's no way I'm going to, there's no

way I'm going to fall under hypnosis.

349

: 00:25:01

And it's just so powerful.

350

: 00:25:03

And you actually do.

351

: 00:25:05

And so many people who volunteered did.

352

: 00:25:09

But I think the experience of using it in

a medical sense and using it in the sense

353

: 00:25:15

of having a way of overcoming those.

354

: 00:25:21

thoughts or those limitations that

we perceive about ourselves is

355

: 00:25:26

really powerful and really helpful.

356

: 00:25:28

And I know as a doctor, you have a

certain standard of confidentiality

357

: 00:25:33

that you have to uphold, but I would

love if there were some anecdotal kind

358

: 00:25:37

of examples or ways that you can help

people explore that a little bit more.

359

: 00:25:45

Kathy Zhang: Yeah, absolutely.

360

: 00:25:46

And you mentioned a phrase which I wrote

down again because it's so good, the

361

: 00:25:50

limitations we perceive about ourselves.

362

: 00:25:53

So hypnosis really, people get kind

of scared because they see stage

363

: 00:25:59

hypnosis, which is when a hypnotist

calls a bunch of people up on stage

364

: 00:26:04

and kind of makes, right, kind of

makes fools out of them, right?

365

: 00:26:07

They're like, I don't want to

quack like a duck or they feel

366

: 00:26:09

like they're going to lose control.

367

: 00:26:11

That's not what clinical

hypnotists or hypnotherapists do.

368

: 00:26:15

Basically, what we do is to help

the client or the patient have more

369

: 00:26:21

control over their subconscious.

370

: 00:26:24

If you've ever watched a movie and

you've been so engrossed in it where

371

: 00:26:30

something happens on screen and

you get scared or there's a really

372

: 00:26:34

moving scene and you start crying,

you've been hypnotized, right?

373

: 00:26:38

It's basically just suspending

your own disbelief for a little bit

374

: 00:26:44

where you're so wrapped up in something

else outside of you that you are in it.

375

: 00:26:49

And so if that's happened to

you, then you've been hypnotized.

376

: 00:26:53

It just sounds really scary because you're

like, I've never quacked like a duck

377

: 00:26:58

before, but that's not what it is at all.

378

: 00:27:00

And so I just want to

clear that for the record.

379

: 00:27:03

All right.

380

: 00:27:04

And so A lot of times what happens

with clients who come to me is

381

: 00:27:09

that they've tried everything else.

382

: 00:27:11

They've tried therapy, they've tried other

things, they've tried talking to their

383

: 00:27:15

friends, they've tried whatever it is.

384

: 00:27:18

And they just feel like, mm, it's

helping, but there's something else there.

385

: 00:27:23

And I've had clients who

Again, I love therapy.

386

: 00:27:27

It saved my life.

387

: 00:27:28

And at a certain point, I just knew

that I'd gotten what I needed out of it.

388

: 00:27:32

Because therapy is conscious.

389

: 00:27:34

It's in the top of the iceberg.

390

: 00:27:36

You're aware, you are you know, saying

certain things, and sometimes you

391

: 00:27:41

know that you might be telling someone

something that maybe they want to hear,

392

: 00:27:46

or that you, feel that you believe, even

though that may not be necessarily true.

393

: 00:27:52

Sometimes we lie to ourselves,

even in therapy, right?

394

: 00:27:55

And so hypnosis really helps to

blur the boundary between conscious

395

: 00:28:00

and unconscious, and it gives us

access to our own inner wisdom.

396

: 00:28:05

So I've had clients, who some people

are entrepreneurs, and they're like,

397

: 00:28:09

you know what, I'm having a really

hard time writing my marketing

398

: 00:28:13

materials and I know it's in there,

but every time I try to write it just

399

: 00:28:16

feels forced and I don't like it.

400

: 00:28:19

No one's going to buy this.

401

: 00:28:20

It just feels fake.

402

: 00:28:23

Well, for this particular client, we

did like 10 15 minutes, got them really

403

: 00:28:27

relaxed, and got them seeing a vision

of their future, tapping into why

404

: 00:28:33

they started the business in the first

place, and it just flowed out of them.

405

: 00:28:38

And basically, I just kind of hit record

with a voice memo on my phone and sent

406

: 00:28:43

it to them after the session, and that

became their copy for their website.

407

: 00:28:47

And they're marketing materials.

408

: 00:28:49

And it's not just entrepreneurs,

it's regular people who are like,

409

: 00:28:54

I can't stop overeating because

my anxiety is really triggered.

410

: 00:28:59

And we work on that.

411

: 00:29:01

We do different hypnoses to help them with

anxiety, to see themselves as a calmer,

412

: 00:29:09

more peaceful version of themselves.

413

: 00:29:11

And then that you know, kind of just

Fades away, or it gets to a point where

414

: 00:29:17

they feel like, Oh, this is manageable.

415

: 00:29:20

I can think again instead

of being chained to it.

416

: 00:29:24

So those are just a few examples

without giving too much detail

417

: 00:29:28

of how hypnosis can help.

418

: 00:29:29

And it can help with so many things.

419

: 00:29:31

Pain, anxiety, overwhelm um, you

know, habit cessation, smoking

420

: 00:29:37

issues, procrastination, really sleep.

421

: 00:29:41

Really anything you can

think of and there's studies.

422

: 00:29:44

There's really really good

research backing hypnosis as well.

423

: 00:29:48

Dorrissa Griffin: Wow,

that is really powerful.

424

: 00:29:50

I love that you said that hypnosis is

a way for us to blur the line between

425

: 00:29:56

the conscious and the subconscious

so that we can access our own wisdom.

426

: 00:30:01

I thought that was really powerful and

just giving the examples of how you've

427

: 00:30:06

helped people and guided them through the

process using clinical hypnosis so that

428

: 00:30:12

they can essentially get out of their

own way and really tap into something

429

: 00:30:17

that they, there's deep within them.

430

: 00:30:19

They know that that's something that they

want and they're attempting to access it,

431

: 00:30:23

but for whatever reason they, they can't.

432

: 00:30:26

So having this as an option to

really be able to tap into that.

433

: 00:30:31

And.

434

: 00:30:32

access those resources is

really quite amazing.

435

: 00:30:36

And I think that's, what's powerful

also to bring in that subject back to

436

: 00:30:41

the eighth house and this whole concept

of mental health and also this concept

437

: 00:30:48

of accessing resources that we have

available to us that are there to support

438

: 00:30:53

us, but for whatever reason we're not

capable or we're not in a place where

439

: 00:30:59

we can guide ourselves through that.

440

: 00:31:01

We need external help and knowing that

that's a possibility is really powerful.

441

: 00:31:07

I would love to know if there's any other

things that you would like people to know

442

: 00:31:12

about hypnosis or really just the whole

concept of tapping into their subconscious

443

: 00:31:18

Um, and using that as a way to access

their own wisdom or to tap into other

444

: 00:31:25

modalities um, of, of help for themselves.

445

: 00:31:28

Thanks.

446

: 00:31:30

Kathy Zhang: It's a great question.

447

: 00:31:32

I always like to say that my

clients already have the answers.

448

: 00:31:37

I'm not here to give people the answers.

449

: 00:31:40

I'm here to really just tease it out

of them because, like you said, there

450

: 00:31:44

is so much noise outside of us, right?

451

: 00:31:49

On any given day, there's social

media, there's texts and notifications

452

: 00:31:54

and all these things that come

externally and it makes it hard for

453

: 00:31:59

us to hear our own inner Voices or

to tap into our own inner wisdom,

454

: 00:32:06

feeling sensation, things like that.

455

: 00:32:10

And so hypnosis is a way

to get people just relaxed.

456

: 00:32:14

There are some people who on the

spectrum of how hypnotizable they

457

: 00:32:19

are, there are some people of very,

a small portion of the population who

458

: 00:32:22

could like get hypnotized and have

surgery without anesthesia, just from

459

: 00:32:27

hypnosis, but for there are some people

who are just like, you know what, it

460

: 00:32:30

felt really relaxing and other people

have some experience in the middle.

461

: 00:32:35

And so Why not tap into

your own inner wisdom?

462

: 00:32:40

Because we already know, right?

463

: 00:32:42

Again, it's the same as if something

devastating and a big life event

464

: 00:32:48

happens to you and you just wake up

one day and you're like, Oh my God.

465

: 00:32:52

I need to change my life.

466

: 00:32:54

You already know what you need to do.

467

: 00:32:57

It's just that the external environment

finally shifted to a point where you,

468

: 00:33:03

it generated enough emotion and enough

pain within you for you to say, Oh, okay.

469

: 00:33:09

I know what I need to do, and

now I'm actually going to do it.

470

: 00:33:12

And so, again, it's not as if anything

outside of you changed, or that you got

471

: 00:33:19

extra information from the outside world.

472

: 00:33:22

It's just that your priorities shifted,

and you were finally able to quiet

473

: 00:33:27

the noise of the external world,

and know that, okay, This is what I

474

: 00:33:34

need to do, and I'm going to do it.

475

: 00:33:37

And when people know that, and

when people have access to that.

476

: 00:33:40

They feel unstoppable, Dorrissa.

477

: 00:33:43

Like, they just, they were like, there's

nothing wrong with the, in the world.

478

: 00:33:47

Like, I understand that there's

problems and I'm in control of me.

479

: 00:33:53

I'm in control of my own circumstances.

480

: 00:33:56

And that is such a powerful experience

and I want everyone to have that.

481

: 00:34:01

Dorrissa Griffin: Wow, I think that

would be amazing for everyone to have

482

: 00:34:04

access to those types of experiences.

483

: 00:34:07

And to be able to do so hopefully in not

as traumatic ways, but sometimes I love

484

: 00:34:13

this quote from a Wrinkle in Time movie.

485

: 00:34:15

It says the wound is

where the light enters.

486

: 00:34:18

And sometimes it takes that for us

to get to that place where we're

487

: 00:34:22

accepting of our own personal gifts,

where we're accepting of our own talent

488

: 00:34:28

that we get to bring into the world

and really nurture that and grow it.

489

: 00:34:32

And so I'm going to now shift us

into the topic of the 12th house,

490

: 00:34:36

which is a little bit deeper dive

into the subconscious as well.

491

: 00:34:41

The 12th house is probably that 93

percent that you mentioned that we

492

: 00:34:47

don't understand about the iceberg.

493

: 00:34:51

Yeah, the 12th house is

really, really deep.

494

: 00:34:53

And so I'm going to quote from another

astrologer that I follow in his

495

: 00:34:59

newest book, his new book is called

Mastering Traditional Astrology:

496

: 00:35:04

a Depth of Beginning in the

Celestial Arts by Michael A.

497

: 00:35:08

Bryan.

498

: 00:35:09

He's a really powerful astrologer.

499

: 00:35:13

And because he's so powerful, I want to

make sure I get the 12th house right.

500

: 00:35:17

So I'm going to quote from his book.

501

: 00:35:18

He says, The 12th house is the

house of self undoing, hidden

502

: 00:35:24

enemies, and silent suffering.

503

: 00:35:27

As a house of self undoing, it

represents the negative habits

504

: 00:35:31

that prevent us from living a life

of complete happiness and joy.

505

: 00:35:36

It can signify a feeling of being stuck.

506

: 00:35:40

Isolated and unable to tap into

the fullness of our personal power.

507

: 00:35:45

At the same time, it can symbolize

habit patterns of self-sabotage,

508

: 00:35:50

and negative reactivity.

509

: 00:35:53

Wow.

510

: 00:35:53

That seems like something you

could help people with, Kathy.

511

: 00:35:58

What do you think about that?

512

: 00:36:00

Kathy Zhang: Okay, this is so good.

513

: 00:36:04

So good.

514

: 00:36:05

I, again, wrote a lot of notes.

515

: 00:36:07

So, I don't know if you've

ever read this book.

516

: 00:36:09

I highly, highly

recommend it for everyone.

517

: 00:36:12

It's called The Big Leap,

L E A P, by Gay Hendrix.

518

: 00:36:17

And on the cover is, I think, a

goldfish in a bowl and, like, the

519

: 00:36:22

goldfish is leaping, I think, out

of the bowl or something like that.

520

: 00:36:26

It is one, I've read so Countless,

countless personal development books.

521

: 00:36:30

It is like top, it's probably

number one for me, I would say, but

522

: 00:36:33

definitely top two or top three.

523

: 00:36:35

Basically, the premise of the book is

that we all have kind of an internal

524

: 00:36:42

thermostat of where we think we should

be or who we think we should be in life.

525

: 00:36:49

And if life gets too good, then

we self sabotage unconsciously,

526

: 00:36:55

unknowingly, to bring ourselves back

down to where we think we should be.

527

: 00:37:01

And so some of the examples that he uses

are Um, you know, this one guy got a great

528

: 00:37:08

promotion at work and something that he

always wanted and it was really great.

529

: 00:37:13

He goes home and unconsciously starts

to pick a fight with his wife because

530

: 00:37:19

he's not used to accepting more love,

success, wealth, abundance in their lives.

531

: 00:37:26

And it's that Marianne Williamson

quote where our greatest fear is not

532

: 00:37:31

that we're not enough or something.

533

: 00:37:33

Our greatest fear is that we are more

powerful beyond we could ever imagine.

534

: 00:37:37

Something like that.

535

: 00:37:37

I'm butchering it.

536

: 00:37:39

And so again, we're not

doing it on purpose.

537

: 00:37:43

This is all lower iceberg stuff.

538

: 00:37:45

This is all beneath the surface.

539

: 00:37:47

This is years of programming from when

we were kids from societal messages.

540

: 00:37:56

Or even things like discrimination

and racism which tells us

541

: 00:38:02

we're not enough, right?

542

: 00:38:03

Especially if you are a woman or a person

of color, like these are all messages

543

: 00:38:10

that we take in and We get conditioned

from a young age, and when our nervous

544

: 00:38:18

systems and our brains are really

forming the circuitry and the wiring,

545

: 00:38:24

and then over time, as we repeat those

things, it just seems like second nature.

546

: 00:38:29

It seems normal for us

to doubt our own power.

547

: 00:38:34

It seems normal for us to to self

sabotage, like a relationship, right?

548

: 00:38:39

Oh my God, this person is so wonderful.

549

: 00:38:42

This partner is treating me really well.

550

: 00:38:44

What's wrong with them?

551

: 00:38:46

Right?

552

: 00:38:46

Why are they doing this?

553

: 00:38:48

And then we, we are like, Oh no,

there's something wrong with them.

554

: 00:38:51

And we self sabotage the relationship,

which could otherwise be amazing

555

: 00:38:56

and wonderful because we are

not used to being treated well.

556

: 00:39:01

We're not used to having good

positive relationships in our

557

: 00:39:06

lives as an example of that.

558

: 00:39:08

And so one, I highly, highly

recommend everyone read that book.

559

: 00:39:13

And two, that's something that hypnosis

can help with because it accesses that

560

: 00:39:20

deeper level, which we're not aware of.

561

: 00:39:22

We're like, why am I doing this to myself?

562

: 00:39:25

Where, you know, Sometimes,

I'll get on an exercise regimen.

563

: 00:39:31

I'm doing really great and I'm seeing

results, and then I'll just binge

564

: 00:39:35

eat for no reason at all, right?

565

: 00:39:37

I'm just like, oh, I want donuts,

and I don't even eat donuts.

566

: 00:39:42

There's an element of self

sabotage in there for me, too,

567

: 00:39:45

because I'll just give an example.

568

: 00:39:48

For me, if deep down, if I think that

um, there's an association, a negative

569

: 00:39:54

association with being seen as a

sexual being, then I'm not going to

570

: 00:40:01

allow myself to feel healthy, or vita

like, or vivacious, or sexual, right?

571

: 00:40:07

And so, there's a lot of stuff underneath.

572

: 00:40:10

And so, when we can get down to

what's really there, it, it just

573

: 00:40:16

blows everything wide open, and you

don't feel like there's a plateau.

574

: 00:40:20

You don't feel like I'm getting stuck

when you don't want to be stuck.

575

: 00:40:24

Dorrissa Griffin: Yeah, that is

just really, really incredible.

576

: 00:40:28

I think those kind of self sabotaging

ways that we have that hidden self

577

: 00:40:36

that we don't really even, even

know is kind of creeping up and,

578

: 00:40:41

uh and taking us like off the

track that we intended for ourselves.

579

: 00:40:46

It's just really amazing.

580

: 00:40:47

And I'm just, So shocked that

the ancient wisdom of the world

581

: 00:40:53

recognized that about who we are.

582

: 00:40:55

And now we have tools like hypnosis

and things that that help us really

583

: 00:41:02

understand that and uncover that.

584

: 00:41:05

So that we can be more aware

and more cognizant of how we

585

: 00:41:09

kind of go about those things.

586

: 00:41:10

What might be some suggestions

that you would give people to

587

: 00:41:14

help them to not self sabotage?

588

: 00:41:17

I know definitely having a session

would be helpful, but what might be

589

: 00:41:21

some other ways that people can work

on those aspects of who they are?

590

: 00:41:28

Kathy Zhang: So, one of the best things

that I recommend for people is, one,

591

: 00:41:35

to be aware of what you might be doing.

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: 00:41:38

If something good happens to you,

we're always conditioned to be like,

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: 00:41:43

when is the other going to, when

is the other shoe going to drop?

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: 00:41:46

Right?

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: 00:41:46

Like, oh, this is great, but

when is it going to, when is it

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: 00:41:50

going to start just unraveling?

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: 00:41:52

But what you're doing is you're priming

your nervous system to have that.

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: 00:41:58

And so when you prime your nervous

system and the energy that you

599

: 00:42:01

give out of, Oh my God, oh my

God, when is it going to happen?

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: 00:42:05

If you keep asking that question,

the answer is going to arrive, right?

601

: 00:42:09

When the other shoe drops and

then it's a confirmation bias.

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: 00:42:12

Oh, see, I knew it couldn't last.

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: 00:42:14

And so a question that you can start to

ask yourself, start to train yourself

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: 00:42:21

to get into the habit of asking is,

okay, how could this get better?

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: 00:42:27

How long can I allow myself to enjoy this?

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: 00:42:32

How can life be even more abundant?

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: 00:42:36

How can I allow myself

to have even more love?

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: 00:42:40

And it sounds really weird and

uncomfortable because it's foreign.

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: 00:42:45

It's not something we're used to.

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: 00:42:47

The more that you can do this and practice

this, the more that you can start to

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: 00:42:53

change the thermostat of what you're

comfortable with because if you all you've

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: 00:43:00

ever known is pain and suffering and when

good things happen to you, then you're

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: 00:43:05

not going to be equipped to hold space

and have capacity for all that goodness.

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: 00:43:11

So you need to slowly expand your capacity

to have good things happen to you.

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: 00:43:18

Dorrissa Griffin: We gotta have

more practice with good things.

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: 00:43:22

We gotta have, we gotta you know, figure

out a way to hold that space and enjoy

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: 00:43:26

it and savor it and cherish that time.

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: 00:43:29

It sounds like a lot of what people wish

when they get to the end of their life.

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: 00:43:33

They're wishing, I wish I would

have spent more time with my family.

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: 00:43:37

I wish I would have gotten that

pet that I wanted for so long.

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: 00:43:40

I wish I would have taken that

trip or, or done this or that um,

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: 00:43:44

or started that business or acted

on that dream that I've held in my,

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: 00:43:49

in you know, in my mind for so long.

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: 00:43:52

So it's just sounds like we need

to take time to really savor life

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: 00:43:58

and to savor those moments to

help us not sabotage ourselves.

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: 00:44:03

Is that right?

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: 00:44:05

Kathy Zhang: Absolutely, and if anyone

listening out there has just has a sense

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: 00:44:12

that, hey, you know what, maybe I will

take the next smallest step towards

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: 00:44:17

that thing I've always wanted to do,

but I've been too scared to do, then

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: 00:44:21

I feel like I've done my job, right?

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: 00:44:24

That's the goal, is to really help

people to embrace the now, is to

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: 00:44:31

Live the life that you want now,

rather than decades later when you're

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: 00:44:36

on your deathbed wishing that you

should have done something different.

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: 00:44:40

That's not the time.

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: 00:44:41

The time is now.

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: 00:44:43

And there's so many tools, and there's

so many resources, this podcast you,

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: 00:44:49

yourself, and how you can help people.

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: 00:44:54

It's all within you.

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: 00:44:55

And so just believe that, trust yourself,

and just take the next smallest step.

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: 00:45:00

It doesn't have to be something wild.

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: 00:45:02

Just the next smallest.

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: 00:45:05

And that's progress.

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: 00:45:07

Dorrissa Griffin: Yes, just take

the next step and Be in the sense of

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: 00:45:13

understanding that that's all you need.

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: 00:45:15

You don't have to have

everything laid out.

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: 00:45:17

You just have to take the next step.

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: 00:45:20

And it can be a small one.

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: 00:45:21

It doesn't have to be some huge leap.

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: 00:45:22

It could just be the next logical thing

or the next thing that you feel drawn

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: 00:45:26

to that can really make the difference.

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: 00:45:29

Oh, I love that.

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: 00:45:30

I've had such a great time

talking with you, Kathy.

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: 00:45:33

And I want to begin to close the

podcast by asking one of my wonderful

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: 00:45:40

questions that I love to ask my

guests called the "Three Wise".

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: 00:45:45

And it's like the gifts of the

Magi they gave three gifts to this

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: 00:45:52

new soul that entered the world.

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: 00:45:55

And We're all kind of

like that in a sense.

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: 00:45:59

We all come into this world, hopefully in

a loving kind of environment, but we're

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: 00:46:04

all, in a sense, a gift to the world.

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: 00:46:07

And it's a beautiful thing

when people reciprocate that.

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: 00:46:10

And so I would love to know what

have been your three wise?

662

: 00:46:15

What have been things that have

blessed you on your journey?

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: 00:46:21

And I call it three sayings,

three sages, or three sounds.

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: 00:46:24

So that's three, either people that

have kind of helped you understand

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: 00:46:30

or that you've really connected with,

three sayings or affirmations or

666

: 00:46:34

principles that you follow, or three

sounds, three music pieces that you

667

: 00:46:39

listen to, or films that have really

inspired you on your cosmic journey.

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: 00:46:45

Kathy Zhang: Wow, okay, so Hmm, so

I have to pick either people saying

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: 00:46:51

or a combination of all of them.

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: 00:46:53

Oh Okay So the first one that comes

to mind is this saying it may or may

671

: 00:47:00

not be attributed to Confucius which

is "Every man, human, has two lives.

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: 00:47:09

The second starts the moment

you realize you only have one."

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: 00:47:14

And that is something that I

love, obviously, because of the

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: 00:47:19

implications of life and death and

hospice and everything like that.

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: 00:47:25

Gosh, what else?

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: 00:47:27

People wise, My, my family, my,

my mom, my dad, my husband, they

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: 00:47:34

have just been so supportive in

everything that I've done in my life.

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: 00:47:40

And they, in their own

ways, are quite woo as well.

679

: 00:47:45

And helping to nurture my own

spirituality in that sense has

680

: 00:47:51

been really transformative and

again, transcendent in my life.

681

: 00:47:55

And then, another.

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: 00:47:58

One is the Bobby McFerrin

song, Don't Worry, Be Happy.

683

: 00:48:06

I know it sounds really silly,

but there's this, there's this

684

: 00:48:10

kind of a image or a matrix.

685

: 00:48:12

It's like a decision tree, right?

686

: 00:48:14

And which I love, which

is, do you have a problem?

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: 00:48:19

Yes or no?

688

: 00:48:20

Okay.

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: 00:48:21

If yes, can you do anything about it?

690

: 00:48:25

Yes or no?

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: 00:48:26

So if yes, Then the answer is why worry?

692

: 00:48:30

And if no, then the

answer is also why worry?

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: 00:48:33

Right?

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: 00:48:34

And that is a constant reminder that

there's so much out there beyond

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: 00:48:40

our control, and why worry about it?

696

: 00:48:43

If it's within our control,

why worry about it?

697

: 00:48:44

We can do something about it.

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: 00:48:45

If it's not, why worry about it?

699

: 00:48:48

And so I leave people with that.

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: 00:48:51

Dorrissa Griffin: That's fantastic.

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: 00:48:52

Thank you so much, Kathy, for joining us.

702

: 00:48:54

I would love to know how we can

stay connected to you and how

703

: 00:48:58

we could support you in any way.

704

: 00:49:01

Kathy Zhang: Yeah, so my Instagram

is @dr.luyikathyzhang and my website

705

: 00:49:08

is luyikathyzhang.com as well.

706

: 00:49:10

L U Y I, Kathy with a K, Z H A N G.

707

: 00:49:13

Dorrissa Griffin: Right.

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: 00:49:14

Well, Kathy, it's been

an immense pleasure.

709

: 00:49:17

Thank you so much for coming on to the

Confidence by the STARS podcast and

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: 00:49:21

sharing your wisdom with us, for helping

us to understand how precious life

711

: 00:49:26

truly is and how we have to savor her.

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: 00:49:29

Every moment.

713

: 00:49:31

Thank you so much.

714

: 00:49:33

Kathy Zhang: Thank you, Dorrissa.

715

: 00:49:34

It's been a great time.

716

: 00:49:36

Dorrissa Griffin: Alrighty.

717

: 00:49:52

Thanks again for listening.

718

: 00:49:54

If you like the show,

please leave a review.

719

: 00:49:57

And if you would like to stay

connected on social media, follow

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: 00:50:01

us on Instagram @cosmusicapp.

721

: 00:50:04

That's C O S M U S I C A P P.

722

: 00:50:09

@cosmusicapp.

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: 00:50:11

Until next time